Thursday, October 05, 2006written once at 8:34 PM

This morning was quite easy to focus. But the haziness has yet to go away and it's annoying me. The smell is just... ugh. Was sms-ing with shu and the both of us were hallucinating/imagining things. I decided to not debut under SM but YG and later on date hyuk but have affairs with the boys from YG. Lala! But I'll definately need to finish my piano before auditioning. YG requires you to have a huge chunk of talent in you before you can go anywhere else. Blank thoughts I assume... Lately I'm starting to speak nonsensical stuff and crap un-understandable stuff. Just... skip the parts you don't understand. I doubt anyone is reading this except randomly the bouncing bear or guests? Or maybe *gasps* stalker?!

Who cares...

So yeah, I spent almost twenty minutes and the grace of the Lord to solve this add maths question. Harhar. But seriously, if it wasn't for the Lord to lend a helping hand in this, I don't think I would ever solve this by myself. Haha, I'm trying to do at least a few add maths questions every single day. I really wanna get a nice grade for SPM. Sighs, my results are no where near my dream. Probably I should push myself more? I seem to lose focus easily lately. I don't know whether it's just laziness or no fear. But I do fear. I am scared. I don't wanna do something now that I'll regret later. But my brains just don't seem to cooperate; especially the subjects with digits. I won't say figures because money is figures and digits.

Another thing is, my voice is getting weird. I mean, I can hit most of the high notes the female singers sing but it doesn't seem to be enough for me? In case you didn't know, I'm aiming to sing like Lim Jeong Hee <33 She's my hero ahahaha. I think even before I train my vocals, I should practise my pronounciation first bwahah. One thing I'm really happy and thankful for is that my mom actually supports me to sing. One of her parent [theirkidsinherkindergarten] is actually a singer and she trains the contestants of 8TV Project Superstar for their performances. And my mom told her about me and she is excited to teach me. But all plans for me to go for vocal training lessons will be postponed to next year because I'm going to Australia under the youth exchange programme.

To think about it, I'm now quite reluctant to go Australia. There's so many things coming up. There's so many interesting and fun stuff that's gonna happen! And I don't know when is it going to happen. Selfishly said, I don't want it to happen when I'm away. I should probably stop sighing and leave everything in God's hands. I've learned to trust him more these days. This year and the past year seems to be a turning point of my life. One of those fork roads once again. I've learnt and decided to leave everything in God's hands. There was this song that was taught by Pn. Julie during one of the CF meetings years back and I really like it. I don't quite remember the lyrics but the tune is still playing significantly in my head.

I cast all my cares upon you...
I lay down all burden down at your feet.

Lord, I'm so going to do that.

Oh and this little thingie Kak Farah made up for me ;]

farah - MISH = Mishy Is Solely Hyukjae's

Yap yap. I whole-heartedly agree with that. ;]
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