Tuesday, March 30, 2010written once at 12:22 PM

FINALLY! The presentation is done! Thank God! And Praise God because we were actually praised for our good BM (like O_O!). She said we were very confident as well hoho. It's facebook what. How can you ever go wrong x] But yes, like finally. It's done. And and, the other huge pain-in-the-ass assignment is done, just waiting to be printed and binded to be handed up tomorrow! Shit down and the sore throat, period and ulcer hits in.

Yay.

On a happier note; I have a new gorgeous gorgeous baby! And I'm naming it Hyuk ;D Okay la, it's after someone's full name for reasons you absolutely know why if you know me well enough ;] It's fantabulous and I cannot stop using it ;] Hoho. Am gonna take as many pictures as possible to get/keep as much memories as I can. Hur... Can't believe how fast time flew.

Barely 60 hours left and I'll leave the country. Ah... I'm gonna miss everybody. And I really hope my grandmother will be okay. And omg I haven't started packing even. For now I'll need to start a to pack list, to buy list, souvenier list in case I forget anyone and hurt their feelings when I come back for forgetting about them x_x

And now I've forgotten what I wanted to blog. Oh I'm supposed to be doing my homework harhar!

Sighs. You know I was thinking that I've started to not want to explain things. There is no point in explaining and no one will listen. Okay so even if they listen, you don't feel they care, so what's the point? Let them think whatever they want of me, I'm sick and tired of explaining my stand because as long as I know what's most important to me and that I'm doing it right; I'm happy.
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Thursday, March 25, 2010written once at 11:37 AM

I've been pretty sleep... more like rest deprived this few weeks. I really wanted and intended to just you know, stay home... and do nothing just to relax the brain from overworking or something. But no, that has been denied of me.

Suju's concert was a stab in the heart; reopening old wounds and creating new ones to start bleeding for particular reasons that I don't think anyone except this family understands. I feel the agonizing ache now. I feel like I've been running away for far too long. I've just been avoiding. All the terms of... jaded and what not. It probably doesn't apply to me. I've probably grown a little; matured a little more because I've seen this side of the world a little more. But actually... the fact doesn't change that I've been running away.

Because I was scared.

So scared of the heartbreak that ALWAYS comes in the package. The talk with Fel the other night made me rethink and wonder if I really do consider Hyuk more than just an artiste. As stupid as that sounds, I think I really do like him more than the rest and it's not just as a favourite member or because I liked him long before he debuted but there's just something... extra. Mwahaha sounds like a case of celebrity obsession.

Grandma's condition is going up and down, up and down. Emotionally, I'm drained. Exhausted. We cried so hard one night, and the next night thankfully she's doing okay. Then another night she's not well again. God, please grant me strength.

Another 7 days more before I fly to Japan. I haven't borrowed thick clothes, haven't bought local food to be brought over there, haven't packed the souveniers for the host family, haven't finished my assignments, haven't prepared my presentation, haven't study, haven't this, haven't that.

I really wanted to stay at college every night to just savour the last few days of being able to be with certain people I truly cherish but it's being pretty difficult.

On a happier note, there's a holiday for us on Monday. Let's hope nothing bad pops out of the blue. I really need to sleep and rush the assignments.

Till then~
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Thursday, March 18, 2010written once at 10:44 AM

One week of (barely) sleeping nights. But so many things have happened along with the piling assignments/presentations/test due to the fact that the last week of the semester before the huge (awesome) break comes and Japan trip happening. Everything has been pushed forward a week. Oh the joy of the university student xP I know I know for you all who have went through this stage is gonna tell me AH BIASALAHHHH~

Stuff happened... too personal to be put up here but all I can say is; I am hanging in there; or at least... attempting to.

But I can do it right? Because I'm me ;] and God is with me. He gave me you guys who are reading this who (probably) love and of course be there for me, so thank you.

p/s: Barely 2 more weeks to Japan~
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Wednesday, March 10, 2010written once at 2:12 PM

I have no idea why this topic title was chosen but yes it's chosen. Now how do I begin. This week has been a pretty hectic week for me. Am attempting to start my assignment that was given the moment we started the course but as usual; I have no idea how. The thing is; even if I compared my intelligence state of 3 months back then and 3 months later of now; I have still absolutely zero ideas of what this assignments require me to do O_o? Is there something wrong with me or what?

Ze big event is on Thurs. For some odd reason. Okay; not exactly odd since I already felt this quite a while ago. I have no oomph, no drive, no motivation. Initally I thought it was because of a certain something. But no; as time goes by; I realized that it really wasn't because of that certain something since new memories can be created and stored in your heart and head all over again.

Event preparations and rehearsals has been going on for a while. Tonight is another rehearsal. Last night's rehearsal was slightly... a turn off. I wouldn't like to mention names or what they have done here but just one thing. Do you mind THINKING what you are saying before spitting it out at everyone's faces. I should understand that you are super stressed out and tired. But isn't everyone else feeling the same way too? Is there no way you could be a little nicer and not embarrass the important people you need to run this event? Sighs.

I have supposingly passed by a delight God gave me last night. The only thing I can think of is that person. But what am I supposed to do? Talk? Smile? I feel the pressure you know? Many thanks to my big fat pride that I can't seem to bring down. You know the thing is; even saying a failing hi to a NORMAL friend sparks up questions like; why you like that wan?

Like how? I only wanted to say hi waaatt. Imagine him la. Apatah lagi -.-

So many plans coming up before the trip to Japan. Hopefully everything will go fine. Hurr...
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Thursday, March 04, 2010written once at 11:14 AM

I really shouldn't be doing this post about rants and should just appreciate what God has given me although that will be posted anyway under the wrong category. But anyway, yes. To start it off; this comp that I'm currently using now in the comp lab has the most horrible space bar ever. ItmakesmetypelikethisnomatterhowmanybloodytimesIhitthespacebar. So you are wondering how do I get spaces like these eh? Because part of the spacebar works perfectly fine while the other parts are screwed up. Likethis. I guess I'll have to bid goodbye to my thumb after I finish using this.

Right, next. I ABSOLUTELY. I repeat. I CANNOT stand people who do NOT cover their mouth when they cough. Are you freaking stupid or what? Nobody taught you anything about it? Nobody told you that you are spreading the whole place within the range of 100M with the stupid bacteria that nobody wants to catch? For all mankind and especially people within your range; please think of them and not just of yourself -.-

And I found out MAB HAS BEEN POSTPONED! Postponed till when tau? APRIL 5TH! I'M ALREADY LONG GONE LAR. *inserts curse words here* I want to take nice nice pictures T.T No chance to pan leng leng and take pic. I'm sure there'll be so many leng luis also la. And the boys will be definitely looking good ;D Sorreh but I have a thing for boys in suits XDD But looking on the bright side; there's no need to spend moneh on dress and whatever. But... still T.T

Right before last night I sorta felt that I wasn't very happy. Feelings of left out; exhaustion, piling assignments and presentations... etc started to take its toil on me when I wake up every morning witnessing my two roommates indulging in awesome sleep while I have to drag meself up and go for class that starts at 8AM in the morning. But God has been very kind to not add the shit onto my load by giving rain and keeping the weather cooling at the right times, so Praise God!

But all these feelings made its way into a discovery that kinda opened my eyes about certain issues that I'll only tell certain people because to me it feels like it's regarding a certain person. So if you know what I am talking about; congratulations. You are one of the certain people ;D

Next, NO SANDWICH TODAY! How could this happen? I need such essentials! What am I gonna eat then?! Harrrrrh?! Then there's some idiot who wants to have something but just wouldn't give me the details. How the hell are we supposed to arrange our schedule like that? Like we are supposed to wait for you? You very big ah?

Last but not least and thankfully not a big deal; 4 hours of class tomorrow morning that ALSO starts at 8AM. Ah, the worries and rants of a university student. So innocent and naive; so safe from the big bad world of work who steals your precious time that you love spending with your bed/computer and/or TV.

I can't wait to go home T.T

Rants over. Celebrated the roommate's birthday on Monday. There's another birthday on Sat. And another next next Mon. Why so many roommates birthday together one? Stress man plan surprises. But the Monday one was pretty successful albeit we didn't manage to make her cry xP Okay that sounded bad. Hahah XD

Had the first ice-cream date with one of the roommates and managed to see someone just in time. Thank you! XD

Time is passing a tad too fast I reckon. Apart from the monstrous climax of A&P [assignments and presentations] before the big finale! [Japan!]; to think about it; I only have like what..? 27 days... Being so busy and all makes time passes even faster. Then the people that you now know will be mostly shifting out and away. And because there's no more college to stay in to meet randomly; you don't get to see them anymore! I don't want it to pass so quickly... But if it isn't I am having a hard time, no? Because happy times goes by the fastest -.- I know I'm supposed to be appreciating and not thinking so much. But you can't help it wan ma...

Went for my first counselling session yesterday afternoon after the promise to one of the roommate to be the client of her senior. No I do not have a problem. It's high time for you guys who think that seeing a cousellor = having (mental) problems. Throw in emotional problems and it's time for YOU to see a psychiatrist. Yay. But hey, that to-be counsellor was pretty awesome. Me likes her ;] It was just like having another friend; who is totally outside the box and does not know a single friend/family involved in whatever nonsense you're talking about giving you the chance to get to know her opinions and insights ;D Very interesting eh ;D

Oh dear I'm hungry. And I think I'm done. Woo! Long one XD Toodles then ;D Till next time!
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